Loisanne's Blog

The meandering path of my life

Venting Philosophically

Today I need to vent…in a philosophical way. I can do it philosophically today, because I have mostly (not completely) got over my anger.

What do I need to vent about, you ask?

My work situation. I love what I do, cake decorating is a fun, creative job. It’s a job though. That’s not what I have to bitch about. It’s the job environment.

In the bakery department of the grocery store where I work, there is a stressful aura that surrounds us all, sometimes hardly noticeable, sometimes heavy, that emanates from our manager. She cultivates it, feeds off it. I haven’t figured out WHY she likes to breed discontent and hostility, but she goes out of her way to do so. Mostly, it all seems like she doesn’t know what she’s doing…like it’s unintentional, but if you’ve been around her for any length of time and know her at all, you realize it is just deception. The woman gets something out of causing people to resent each other, ruining their plans, making life harder for them in general. Maybe she’s miserable and as the saying goes, misery loves company.

I don’t know. I’ve thought and thought about it and can come up with no explanation other than she’s miserable and has some really bad mental/emotional problems. Not good qualities in a boss. It’s very counter-productive in a workplace. This isn’t a playground where you’re the queen and can play favorites or bully people.

¬†What brought all this on? I’m getting there…LOL.

About a week ago, I mentioned to this “boss”, the wonderful, helpful attributes of one of my coworkers. I told her how this person was very helpful and instrumental in getting product (decorated cakes) out into the cases (cakes in the cases mean more sales, more sales means more money, more money means more hours for the employees). I told this “boss” how grateful I was and how this coworker does more to help me out when I’m really busy than the other employees. I just wanted her to know about things that happen when she’s not there. I thought I was doing something good. NOT.

I found out a couple days ago, from the coworker who’s praises that I sang so beautifully, that she was taken aside by said “boss” and told that she was not to help me in future.

Now are you starting to understand where I’m coming from?

I couldn’t believe my ears when she told me that. I felt terrible for having said anything at all. I was so angry and upset. First, for the fact that my coworker got in trouble for doing something nice, something that was good for the bakery, something that she had the extra time to do. Second, that my “boss” cared less about the bakery than I did, she didn’t care if there was product to sell or not, and obviously didn’t want to promote teamwork among the employees.

Knowing this “boss” the way I do, I can’t really say it shocked me, but it really angered me. How is a person supposed to be concerned about their work, care about doing a good job, when their “boss” doesn’t, when their boss seems to be working AGAINST that goal? It’s very disheartening.

My coworker quit the day she told me what happened. Her day went from bad to worse (which doesn’t take much when you’re persecuted by your “boss”) and she just walked out. I applaud her. I wish her all the best. I hope she finds a much better job than she had, with a boss that appreciates her.

That said, I believe there is a reason, a purpose for all things. I have to believe there is a better job out there waiting for my coworker and the Universe had to give her a push (out of this job) in order for her to find it. I believe the Universe works that way. I believe this “boss” of mine has a purpose as well. It’s sad that she is the way she is, she can’t be happy, but there has to be bad as well as good in the Universe. We learn and grow from the conflict and difficulty in our lives. If we never faced any problems we would be soft and spoiled. It is the hard times we experience that make us appreciate the easy. Everything has purpose. I learn that more and more all the time.

So, what lesson or purpose do I think my “boss” serves for me?

Compassion and pity. When the anger of the moment goes away, I feel sorry for her. I think her purpose for me is to “see” the flawed person that she is and wish for her to be a better one. Sounds easy, but it’s not. There are so many things to be angry with her for, so many reasons to wish bad things on her, paybacks, that it’s hard to put those aside and wish good for someone like that. I think that’s my lesson though. I’m working on it. I’m trying.

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March 22, 2010 Posted by | Friends, Life, Work | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Today is better…so far.

Yeah, from that title it sounds like I’m still having a struggle to remain positive. Not so, though. I’m very positive today. It’s been good…so far. One never knows what the future holds though. I’m not trying to be negative, but I hate to say “Today is going to be a great day all day!”. It reminds me of something someone else said…”The Titanic is unsinkable!” I have this feeling that the Universe is listening to those people and thinking “Oh yeah? You think so?” and goes and puts a WHAMMY on them.

So pardon me if I refuse to proclaim that today will be an awesome day, the best day ever. It will be what it will be and I will deal with whatever comes my way the best I can.

That said, today has started out pretty good. I went to the bank and deposited some money (was overdrawn) and then paid my water bill (two months worth, I’m terrible about forgetting it). Soon, I’ll take Joseph to school (Tech hasn’t started back yet after the holiday break) and come home to a peaceful and quiet house. I haven’t been alone in my house for quite a while. I’ve missed it. Even if Joseph is here and sleeping, it’s not the same. Maybe I’m just super sensitive to other people’s energy, I don’t know, but I can never feel totally relaxed and comfortable unless I’m alone. I wonder what Freud would have to say about that?

I’m planning on getting some writing done today. I don’t know what I’m going to work on, but I’m going to write. I had an idea about using fairytale storylines and re-working them into a modern day story. I mind-mapped the three little pigs last night. I may try and work on that today. I just want it to be a short story. Or, I may try and mind-map some other fairytales and see what I can come up with for them. Or, I may just sit down and work on finishing up typing my outline into the computer. Who knows?

I’m not going to get anywhere with anything if I don’t finish this and do something else though. So, on that note, I shall bid you adeiu.

January 5, 2010 Posted by | Life, Writing | , , , , | Leave a comment