Loisanne's Blog

The meandering path of my life

*&$^#)%&!

That’s because I  couldn’t find an appropriate word for the title of this post.

As you may have guessed, this probably isn’t going to be a “nice” post. Sorry people, even an optimist like me goes on a rampage once in a while.

What is amiss, you ask?

Well, things aren’t exactly going my way at the moment. Plus, I may be having some hormonal imbalance thing going on. Not good. Normally, my scales of  “happy” and “bitchy” have a lot of slack in them…meaning, it takes a lot of crap heaped up on the “bitchy” side to tip it past the point of no return. My hormones  seem to change the specs on my scales though and there’s not much tolerance for crap before I go off the deep end.

No, I don’t scream and yell and throw a fit, but the rage inside me is rather frightening. It passes, I know it will. I tell myself it will. I just have to think of something else and get through the “moment”. Not an easy thing to do sometimes though. Especially at work.

I know everyone thinks they are a good worker and that they do more than their fair share and that they are taken advantage of, so I guess in that respect, I’m no different than anyone else. The difference is…I’m being truthful…LOL. No, I’m not the best cake decorator in the world. No, I”m sure I’m not the fastest. But I’m better and faster than the other decorators I work with, than probably most of the decorators employed by the company I work for. I’m not bragging, I’m just confident. The ladies I work with will tell you the same thing.

My problem is this: my boss takes advantage of me and takes me for granted. I know, that’s a boss for you. Pisses me off though. Especially lately. Point in case: I was off  Wednesday and Thursday. There was a wedding cake order to be done on Thursday. Tamra can’t do wedding cakes. Christina can (although she will make you wonder if she’s going to have a nervous breakdown in the process) but she was working at another store. I said I would come in(an 18 mile trip, one way) and do the cake. I did. Took me less than two hours from start to finish.  Overtime. Or so I thought. Donna came to me a couple of days ago and asked me to try and take off the time. I said “Really? You’re gonna make me take that off?” She backed down and said, “No, since you made the trip in, you can keep it.” The next day, Dale (store manager) came and told Donna that I was going to have overtime and Donna promptly called over to me “Lois, you’ve got overtime to take off”. WHAT THE FUCK? What happened to “Since you made the trip in, you can keep it”? I would have thought she would have at least told Dale the situation and had my back, even if Dale wouldn’t have ok’d it.

Am I wrong for being pissed? I think not. Needless to say, I won’t be helping them out again. They can go fuck themselves for all I care.

So, that’s all it took for my thoughts to start spiralling downward and every memory of every bad situation I’ve ever had at work came flooding back…the days I requested and didn’t get….the year I’ve worked without a sunday off…all the times I’ve got blamed for shit going wrong that someone else did…all the responsibilities that keep getting shifted onto my shoulders and then the griping when my other duties don’t get done….etc….etc.

It was NOT good. It doesn’t help that I’m having issues at home as well…wages garnished, possible forclosure on my house, the threat of having to move in with my Mom looming in my future. Not that those would be totally terrible things. Ok, living with my Mom would be…LOL…but I’d survive.

The point is, it probably wouldn’t take too much for me to give my notice at work and say “fuck it”. Throw in the towel. I’m already prepared to lose my home. Not the worst thing that could happen. Plenty of other people have had it happen and lived through it. I would like to be able to sell it…but if it gets taken, it won’t be the end of the world. To tell the truth, I have a feeling that it will be like a weight lifted off me. I’ll be free of it. Free of the responsibility of it all. And while I may have to live with my Mom for a while, I’ll eventually get my own apartment and things will be back to normal.

There’s really only one thing that keeps me from throwing in the towel. Phil. I have a trip to England planned in November, and if I were to quit and start a new job, they might not let me have the time off. And I NEED that time off. Come hell or high water, I’m taking my trip. If I have to sell my soul (not that it would be worth much…LOL) I’d do it. I’ve wanted to see England most of my life and now that I have the chance to do it…and with a wonderful sweet man as my guide…nothing is going to stop that. Not even me…LOL.

So, I guess I’ll bite my tongue and keep my temper under control and try to think pleasant thoughts. At least until November.

Wish me luck.

Ciao for now

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March 23, 2011 - Posted by | Life, Work | , , , , , ,

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