Loisanne's Blog

The meandering path of my life

WORDS (a poem)



Words

 

 

 

The English language has many words. Thousands of them. We have words that we’ve stolen from other languages. Words that we’ve made up as we needed them. Seems like there is a word for everything.

 

Except what I feel.

 

With all the words at my disposal, and the infinite ways to combine them, I have not been able to find the ones that can describe what I feel for HIM.

 

Yes, you could say I love HIM. But “love” is so overused. We use it to describe our feelings for people of course, but then we also use it while talking about music, movies, the weather, food. Seems to describe a great many things. It’s a bit watered down. And what I feel for HIM isn’t like anything I feel for anything else. Or anyone else.

 

Maybe a combination of words then? A phrase or paragraph that when properly put together might convey the right meaning, the proper depth of feeling. Again, it falls short. Trying to emphasize the kind of “love” I feel ends up sounding like a cheesy commercial that uses phrases like “new and improved” or “never before seen”. It merely says it’s different, better, but doesn’t tell how.

 

The best I can do is try to describe the symptoms of my glorious disease. And in even that I am sure to fall short of my goal. The sum of the parts will never equal the infinity of the whole. But try I must, because like a boiling pot, I cannot contain these feelings inside me. I must let them out, like steam, before I burst.

 

And it is like a disease. An infection. Something for which there is no cure. Not that I want to be cured. Emotional highs of intense joy and lows of heart-rending doubts assail me. Like an addict, I crave the highs, caring not that I could fall from them. My heart races at every thought of HIM. And my brain has been overrun by those thoughts, like little viruses invading my neurons. My mind flits back and forth from reality to thought, and I long to give in and leave reality behind, losing myself in thoughts and dreams and fantasies of HIM.

 

I cannot. I must not.

 

To give in to the disease is folly. To be cured, unimaginable pain. I want neither so I must learn to live with this disease, until one or the other overtakes me.

 

I pray that it isn’t the cure.

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February 24, 2011 - Posted by | Life, Writing | , ,

1 Comment »

  1. Great post and I believe this part: “Yes, you could say I love HIM….Or anyone else.” is so true..And its that the word “love” is so overused..Anyway..Again very nice.Thanks for sharing:)

    Comment by swing | February 24, 2011 | Reply


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