Loisanne's Blog

The meandering path of my life

Best Friend

Isn’t that the nicest thing someone can say to you?

You’re my best friend.

What’s really neat is when someone you consider your best friend says it to you. When you know it’s mutual. I had that experience yesterday. Took me quite by surprise.

Yes, I’m afraid this is another post about Phil. My best friend Phil.

If you’ve seen the earlier posts, you know how crazy I am about him and how wonderful he is. He’s the most amazing man I have ever known. And trust me, I”m not easily impressed. He’s smart, funny and easy to talk to. We have so much in common and yet still so much different that we never run out of things to talk about. The last 2 months have been been totally dominated by him. I can’t get enough. I spend almost every spare moment talking to him and when I’m not talking to him, I’m thinking about him…replaying conversations in my mind…smiling spontaneously.

Yeah, I”m in love.

I know, you’re probably thinking, “How “in love” can you be with someone you’ve never met?” Trust me, you can be. I loved Timothy before I ever met him. And while we are not together anymore, we had a really wonderful relationship for a couple of years. It’s because I knew “who” he was. I know “who” Phil is too. After all the hours I’ve spent talking to him, I feel I know “who he is” pretty well. Good and bad. No, I don’t think he’s perfect. Maybe perfect for me…LOL…but not perfect. He has his faults. Nothing so awful that can’t be dealt with though. We’ve never had an argument….yet. We disagree about things, sure, but we don’t have a problem with the fact that we see some things differently.

I guess one of the biggest differences we have is that I’m a dreamer and he’s Mr. Logic. He says he doesn’t mind that though. Maybe we’ll balance each other out. He can pull me back down to earth when I get to “out there” and I can help him to “feel” more and not get too extreme with his logic. He’s not one for talking about his feelings. I am. I’m always telling him how wonderful he is. We even had an awkward discussion about “love” the other day. Told him I loved him, and he said it back, then said maybe we should say we have “deep feelings” for each other. I said ok.

It really doesn’t matter to me what you want to call it. It wouldn’t have mattered to me if he’d said he loved me or not. I feel what I feel and I’m quite aware that you can’t make someone else feel something they don’t. I know he cares about me. He does so much for me and spends so much time talking to me, how could I think otherwise? It doesn’t need to be defined or quantified. I’m happy. That’s all that matters.

I can understand why Phil is reluctant to get “too serious”. He’s been there done that. His previous girlfriend, Sam, was someone he went that direction with and it didn’t work out. I’m sure he’s afraid of that happening again. The fact that he’s being so cautious is actually kind of flattering. I believe it means that my friendship is very precious to him and he doesn’t want to mess that up. I don’t either. It isn’t often you meet someone you fit with so well. It’s definitely something special.

I do get the occasional comment that rocks my world though. Like last night. “You’re my best friend”. I was overwhelmed. I gushed. I almost cried. I told him so. Told him he was my best friend too.

He changed the subject…LOL.

I laughed and went with it.  That was enough for me. I can live off that one revelation for a long time. He is what he is and I’m learning to understand him better all the time. That’s what love is…me taking the time to understand who he is and accepting the whole package instead of trying to get him to change pieces of himself to accomodate me. I love who he is and he wouldn’t be the same person if that happened.

Yeah, I’m in way over my heart…LOL. I love it. Feels wonderful.

No idea where it will all end. I don’t care. It’s worth the risk.

Ciao for now.

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February 23, 2011 - Posted by | Friends, Life | , ,

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