Loisanne's Blog

The meandering path of my life

Happy New Year!

It’s almost a new year here. Not much longer to go…just a little more than an hour. There are lots of places who have already had their new year and are nice and snug in their beds…sleeping off the effects of their partying. My friend Phil would be one of those. He lives in Englad and had his new year almost 5 hours ago. I hope he has a wonderful new year. He’s one of the neatest people I know and he deserves the best.

Jared has already passed out on me. He told me to wake him up later…so I’ll give it a try…providing I’m still up myself…LOL. I probably will be. I shouldn’t…but I probably will. I still need to get a fire going and do some last minute cleaning on the bathroom and kitchen before Steve gets here tomorrow. I’m looking forward to his visit. He’s been planning this a while and was supposed to be here last Sunday, but New York got snowed in and he couldn’t make it. He’ll make it this time though. He arrives tomorrow. I hope he has a good visit here. I will do my best to make it so.

I’m feeling better than I did last night, but I’ve still got some sinus crap going on. My throat is a little sore too. I hope it’s just allergies gone crazy and not a cold. I would hate to give Steve a cold while he’s here.

Well, I better get off here and take advantage of a little peace and quiet and get some more done around here before I have to wake up Jared to ring in the new year.

Happy New Year to everyone who reads this. I hope you have a wonderful 2011!

December 31, 2010 Posted by | Friends, Life | Leave a comment

A Brand New Year

Yep, another New Year is just around the corner. I’m excited. Are you?

I’ve read my horoscope and it says it’s going to be a great year for me. I’ll take it. I need it.

The last few years have not been so great. Well, not overall….mainly financial. That part’s been horrible and has culminated with me finally having to sell my house before the bank comes and takes it away from me. Not good.

So you can see why I might latch on to any sort of hope for the coming year. I do believe it will be a good one.

Why? Because I think change is good. I have an optimistic belief that everything usually turns out ok in the end and I believe that somewhere in my future there is going to be  a wonderful moment when I’ll stop and think “I wouldn’t be where I am/who I am right now, if THAT hadn’t happened. Life goes on. Losing a house isn’t the worst thing that can happen to a person. I’ll survive.

To tell the truth, I”m kinda looking forward to getting an apartment….carpet, central heat and air, a dishwasher, running water…ok…I actually have running water…LOL. I won’t have a huge yard to mow though and I won’t have to cut wood anymore. It will definitely be a simpler life. I don’t think it will be too hard to let go of the old and grab on to the new. I’m curious about what experiences await me.

Lots of changes coming this next year. Life is full of surprises.

Ciao for now.

December 29, 2010 Posted by | Life | 1 Comment

Ho Hum

Well, here I sit, at Borders, thinking that the writing group meeting I was going to crash is a bum deal. I’m at the right store…but no writing group people. Oh well. It’s not like it’s a total waste. I’ve been doing some writing on my story and I’ve had a lovely peppermint mocha. So, the night isn’t too bad. It’s not like I was going to do anything around the house…like cleaning…LOL.

I may have to take a look at the bargain rack once more before I leave. I saw several books I would like to have. I can’t afford any of them…I shouldn’t buy any of them, but I’m not sure I’ll be able to resist. I love books! I already have so many that I don’t have space enough for them all, but books are so wonderful. I can’t get enough.

Well, back to my writing. I’ve messed around enough. Back to work.

Ciao for now.

December 28, 2010 Posted by | Life, Writing | , , | Leave a comment

Why do I do the things I do?

Do you ever wonder why you do the things you do? I mean the stupid things. I rarely wonder why  I do the smart things, I kinda expect that from me…LOL. It’s the stupid things that make me wonder “What the hell was I thinking?”

Case in point…letting Don come over. Big mistake. I knew it was a mistake. That’s why I haven’t seen him in over a year. Obviously I’d forgotten just why I hadn’t seen  him in over a year. Hence, the reason I’m writing this. I don’t want to forget again.

What’s so bad about Don, you ask? I’ll get to that. First, I should probably explain why I let him come over in the first place. I was horny.  There it is. My libido got the best of me. The company I was expecting to visit wasn’t able to make it and I was all worked up.  I got on facebook….and there was Don. Don asks to come over on occasion. I usually say no…give him some excuse. I didn’t this time. I say again….”What was I thinking?”

Don is a drunk. What I didn’t realize is that he had already been drinking enough at 9:30 in the morning to be drunk that day. He drove to my house…that’s right…drove. When I saw him stumble on the steps of the porch, I realized he was drunk. Damn.

We started messing around and it started coming back to me why I’ve avoided this man. He’s too rough. Don’t get me wrong…I like it rough once in a while…but not overpowering. I felt like he was trying to suck my tongue out of my mouth! OW!

Ok…getting explicit here….

The oral sex was pretty good….until he started using his fingers. Then things got rough again. I had to tell him to stop. That’s sensitive stuff down there. That’s about as far as it went. I pulled one of my toys out wanting him to use that on me instead of his fingers and I think he was offended…LOL. It wasn’t long before he was up and gone.

I wanted to kick myself. What a horrible experience. I think it was worse than the last time he was here. And he kept asking me the same things…over and over….”Do I kiss good?”…”Am I too old for you?”….”Do you like me?”…shit like that.

WTF was I thinking?

He actually wants to come back. 

Not gonna happen.

December 28, 2010 Posted by | Life | , , | Leave a comment

Whassup

Well, I had a pretty good Christmas. The boys were with me on Christmas eve and with their Dad on Christmas day. I had Christmas dinner with my family at my Sister’s. I ate too much, as usual, and got some wonderful gifts…fuzzy socks, candles and a shirt. I’m glad it’s all over now…LOL.

I was supposed to have some company this evening, but unfortunately, New York is snowed in and Steve’s flight was cancelled. Sucks. If it hadn’t been cancelled, I sure wouldn’t be sitting here writing this…LOL. He’s going to try to change it to Tuesday. I’ll have to work Wednesday, but I guess a little visit is better than no visit. We’ll see what the weather allows.

I would like to announce that I have my pen pal, Phil, back. I’m so excited. I missed him. Things didn’t work out with his psycho girlfriend so now he can talk to whoever he wants…LOL. I’m glad we’re talking again. It’s not the same as it was before, but I think that’s probably a good thing. I was a bit “in awe” of him before. He’s so smart and nice and generous. Oh, and cute…can’t forget that. But now I see him as “human”. I feel more comfortable with that. I still think the world of him though. I hope we continue to get closer and remain friends forever…despite whatever psycho girlfriends he gets hooked up with…LOL.

On a personal note, I feel like I’ve been thrown back in the yahtzee cup and shaken around a bit. I’m still waiting to see where I get thrown and how the rest of the dice will fall. I hope that anyone who reads this takes a second or two to think a positive thought for me.

The writing has been going good. Not as well as I had hoped this last month, but still pretty good. I did not get the first draft done, but I don’t think it will be long into the new year before it’s finished. I had a wonderful breakthrough at lunch today. I now know what my prologue is going to be about. I wanted something to shock the reader and let them know just how bad my bad guy is. I think I have a way to do it. I’ve just written down the idea so far. I have to flesh it out a bit and then write it. It’s more than what I had yesterday though…LOL.

Well, I’m beat and I want to finish watching G.I. Joe before heading to bed. Yeah, I’ve seen it before, but I love the special effects. I have another video I could be watching, a little something my friend Rick (from work) made himself. Yeah, you guessed it..homemade porn…LOL. I’ve had the tape for a couple of days now and I still haven’t watched it.  I know…what’s wrong with me? LOL. Too tired, I guess. It’s been a hectic few days. I’m off tomorrow though, so I’m sure I’ll find time for it then. I hope it’s good.

Ciao for now.

December 26, 2010 Posted by | Family, Friends, Life, Writing | , , , | Leave a comment

Writing Exercise

I had an absolutely WONDERFUL time at my last writing group meetup. I just love everyone in the group. They are all so talented and supportive. This is the best group ever.

This meeting was our “writing exercise”. We had a page of “prompts” to choose from and we had to pick one and write about it. I had a hard time choosing one. I finally went with one that was about getting a postcard, one week after the funeral of a close friend, that said “I’m not dead. Meet me tomorrow night at ____. Tell no one.”

We all wrote for about 30 minutes and then read our stories. Here’s mine. (I actually had someone tell me that I should expand it and submit it in the short story competition at the library. I was flattered.)

It had been exactly one week. One week to the day since John’s funeral. That’s when I got the postcard. It had been placed on the porch, in front of the door. It said, “I’m not dead. Meet me tonight at the park. Tell no one.”

I was in shock. John was alive! I wasn’t too hard for me to believe. After all, I hadn’t seen his body. It was supposedly cremated. Obviously, they’d cremated someone else. I couldn’t imagine his wife, Elaine, not being able to tell that it wasn’t him, but I guess the body had been mangled pretty bad.

I was excited, scared, unsure of what to do. Should I go to the park? I had to. John had always been a good friend. If he really was still alive, and in hiding, then he probably needed my help. Maybe there were bad people after him. Maybe he was running from them, in fear for his life.

I had it all figured out by the time I pulled my car into the park, as far away from the lights as possible. I sat there for a while, waiting, looking around. I saw nothing. I was about to give up, thinking it was all a hoax, when there was a tap at the passenger window. I nearly jumped out of my skin. It was John.

I unlocked the door and he got in. “Drive.” he said.

I pulled out of the parking lot and started driving. I headed to the country roads that I was familiar with, less traffic.

“What’s going on?” I asked, “I thought you were dead. Everyone thought you were dead.”

“I’m sorry. It was just a freak accident. I picked up a hitchhiker and right from the start, I noticed he looked a lot like me. It was a little uncanny, let me tell you. Anyway, I realized this was my big chance. So I took it.”

I looked at him strangely, “What are you talking about?”

“I killed him. I got him drunk, drove my truck to the railroad tracks and put him behind the wheel and left him there.”

“Oh my God, John. Why did you do that? Are you running from someone? Is someone out there trying to kille you?”

He looked at me, puzzled. “No. Why would you think that? I did this for you…and me. I love you. I did this so we could run away and be together.”

I stopped the car. “You are insane! I thought you faked your death because you were being hunted by the mob or something. I wouldn’t run off with you. Whatever gave you that idea?”

John looked hurt. “All those looks you gave me…the hugs…..the smiles. I know you felt something.”

“Yeah, I liked you. That’s it. We were friends, John, nothing more. Oh my god, I can’t believe you did this.”

He got really upset, “You’re just a bitch like every other woman I know.”

He reached over and put his hands around my neck. I couldn’t breathe. I tried pushing him off. I reached my leg up and tried kicking him away. I kneed him in the ribs. He cried out and lost his grip for a second. I took a deep breath and reached for the door handle. He grabbed me again. This time he had my arm. I opened the door with my other hand. I tried to get out but he was holding me. I reached over and pushed my thumb into one of his eyes. He screamed and let go of me. I jumped out of the car and into the bright headlights of an oncoming Dump Truck. The truck saw me just in time and swerved….right into my car, crushing it like a tin can.

I guess what goes around comes around.

December 18, 2010 Posted by | Friends, Writing | , , | Leave a comment

Can’t sleep!

This is what I feel like

 

Sore throat. Can’t sleep. Guess I’ll write in my blog.

Hmm…what to write? Well, I guess I could tell you that I’m up to 50,000 words on my book now. That’s going well. I’m finding as I go along, lots of ideas that could make it better. I guess everyone does that though…LOL. I’ve decided that the first part is going to have to undergo some serious restructuring too. And I’m going to add a prologue. It’s going to be something really terrible. Something to introduce the bad guy in a way that will make you wish he were dead. No, I haven’t figured out what it’s going to be yet…LOL. It’ll come to me. It always does in the end.

Christmas is right around the corner. I have no money, as usual…LOL…so I’ve decided to use what I have available to me, a scanner/printer and lots of blank DVD’s. Oh, and  a little help from Smilebox. This year has not been that great financially and all my savings has been whittled away to nothing. Sucks. So, I decided to go through all the old pictures I have of my childhood, scan them into my computer and using Smilebox, make DVD’s for my family. I think they would all like it. Time is running out though. I have yet to scan a single picture.

Have you ever been so overwhelmed with things you need to do that you freeze and can’t get yourself to do anything? That’s me. I hate it. It’s something I have to struggle with all the time, since as a single mother, I seem to always have a million things to do. I shall endeavor to do better. Tomorrow’s another day, right?

And I think it’s time for me to try and go back to sleep. My ibuprofen seems to be kicking in so maybe I get a couple more hours before it’s time to get up again.

Ciao for now.

December 9, 2010 Posted by | Family, Life, Writing | , , , , | Leave a comment