Loisanne's Blog

The meandering path of my life

Apathy

Yeah, I gots it. Pathetically apathetic. That’s me.

I would hate for you to see my house right now. I haven’t even been able to bring myself to clean. I do the laundry becuase I have to have clean clothes to wear to work. At least I’m still going to work.

Maybe it’s the heat. It’s been really hot here lately. Makes it hard to do anything. I haven’t been writing either. I have been drawing, but that’s about all I’ve been able to make myself do. Life hasn’t been very exciting or comforting to me lately. I know, it’s all a matter of perspective. My perspective has been kinda sucky lately. Maybe it’s hormonal. I’m pretty sure I’m pre-menopausal. Might have something to do with getting my hours cut at work too. 32 hours this week. Sucks. I can’t really bitch too much though, everyone else is getting theirs cut too. Oh yeah, I really don’t like the new decorator, Billie. She’s a pain in the ass. I have given up on trying to be nice to her. Fuck that (excuse my language).

I think I’m turning into Walter (one of Jeff Dunham’s alter egos). I just can’t seem to be bothered with tolerating certain people anymore. I hate to say it, but some of them are family…LOL. Life is just to short to waste time on people that piss you off though. Why even try to be nice or include them in your life if they are only going to bring you grief?

Yeah, I’m on a roll this evening. Sorry, I just feel like venting and this is as good a place as any. It doesn’t help that it’s late and I’m tired and my right ankle hurts because I’ve been favoring my left knee that hurts.

Why yes, I would love some cheese to go with my whine…LOL.

Ok, I’ll give it a break for now. Ciao!

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August 10, 2010 Posted by | Family, Life, Work | , , , , , | Leave a comment

sitting at the library

Here I am, sitting at the library. Sigh.

I’ve exhausted all my possibilities with Facebook, no one is on yahoo messenger or windows messenger. AOL is sadly lacking in anyone to talk too as well. I’ve played around enough on www.interpals.net and I’ve already posted to my other blog. Sigh, again.

No, it was not my idea to come to the library. It was Joseph’s. My idea was to take a nap. I even tried to persuade him to take my car and drive himself to the library. No such luck. So, here I am, sitting at the library, trying to find something to take my attention off my ass hurting from sitting in these hard seats. I’m not having much luck with that.

So, here I am posting nonsense. You’ll only have to put up with another 10 minutes of my nonsense though (at least for today).  The library is closing in 15. Yay! In fact, the lovely lady librarian (and yes, you did detect some sarcasm there) just came over to tell us that very thing.  At least it’s cool in here. Which is more than I can say for my house. Actually, it’s not too bad today, but the last few days it’s been over 100 and my poor little A/C struggles to keep up. It’s bearable today though. I’ll be happy to get back to it.

Ok, time to pack up. Just when my ass is starting to go numb…LOL. Why couldn’t it have done that an hour ago?

Ciao for now.

August 5, 2010 Posted by | Life | | Leave a comment

Poem

I soar down manmade pathways
in a manmade machine.
Windows down
I breathe in the night.
Merely missing the light
it has become a separate entity.
Different
in more than just it’s lightlessness.
The beauty of the night
caresses my senses.
The wind
blows through my hair.
The smell
makes me breathe deeply and smile.
The night fills me
and I gladly become a part of it.
I leave the daylight behind
and all of it’s cares.
There is only the night
and I am free.

I felt inspired to write this. One of my favorite things to do is drive at night with the windows down. I love to feel the wind on my face and smell the night smells. The area I live in, I can drive down the roads in peace, be the only car on the road. I love that feeling. At that moment, the rest of the world doesn’t exist and I feel so free of it all.

August 3, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , | Leave a comment

I had a dream…

::::WARNING::::EXPLICIT CONTENT FOLLOWS:::::

I really don’t know how explicit this is going to be, but I decided that I had to write about a dream I had. It’s a dream about a guy I work with. A guy that is much younger than I am. A guy that is a good friend and…until my dream…I didn’t have any sexual thoughts about.

Ok first the dream: Me and Mike are sitting on the couch at my house. We are laughing and joking around and then suddenly he gets quiet and stares at me. I look back at him. He leans in and kisses me. He’s awkward at first, nervous, trying to hard. I try to take it slow and start running my tongue around his lips. He gets the hint and we are having a good time when all of a sudden, my Mother comes out of my bedroom and catches us…LOL. I don’t know what she’s doing there, but I remember at that point my shirt is off and I cover myself with my arms. I remember thinking it’s funny and Mike is all freaked out…LOL. Mom goes back in the bedroom. Some other stuff happens, but I can’t really remember the rest of it. It’s faded. Probably because it wasn’t nearly as interesting…LOL.

Anyway, ever since that dream, I can’t help but think about that dream and let my imagination elaborate on even more. Mike and I are friends, but I have no “romantic” interest in him. I do however have a “sexual” interest in him. I keep thinking what it might be like to run my hands all over his body. I would love to kiss his lips and then make my way down to his neck, feeling the roughness of his stubble. I can imagine smelling his cologne. I’d love to undo his tie and slowly unbutton his shirt, looking at his face while I work, seeing the perspiration above his lip glisten. He doesn’t even know how sexy that is. He doesn’t think he’s sexy at all.

I’d love to slide his shirt off and run my hands over his chest, play with his nipples, maybe even bend my head down and lick them. Then I’d like to reach down and grabl his crotch, feel his hardness in my hand. I imagine him moaning in pleasure. Then I would undo his pants and pull them down, along with his underwear…the whole time feeling of his smooth thighs. Then I would have to push him into a chair and drop to my knees in front of him. I would move in close, kissing his chest, his stomach…feeling his hard, throbbing cock pressing into me. Then I would back away, maybe give his cock a small lick, before moving to his thighs, rubbing my hands up and down his legs, kissing his inner thighs, making my way closer and closer to the prize.

I would finally take his cock in my hand and suck the head of it into my mouth, swirling my tongue around it. I can just imagine his excited response. (I have a feeling Mike has never had a blow job before).  I would love to lick him and suck him and play with him until he shot his load all over me.  And then I would like to clean him up while he lay back, relaxed and sweaty…and kiss him all over some more.

Yeah, I’ve been thinking about that scenario ever since I had that dream. Maybe now that I’ve written it down, I can get rid of those thoughts. I sure can’t tell Mike…LOL. He’d probably freak out and not have anything to do with me anymore. He’s a little on the timid side when it comes to sexual things. I have a feeling he might be a virgin. That’s ok. He wouldn’t be my first…LOL.

Well, I don’t know if I should have written all this in here, but I don’t think anyone I know reads this thing anyway…LOL. I surely won’t be posting  a link to it on my facebook anytime soon…LOL.

Ciao for now

August 1, 2010 Posted by | Life | , | Leave a comment