Loisanne's Blog

The meandering path of my life

I do believe I’m snowed in

No, that’s not my car. I’m wondering if my car is going to look like that in the morning though. Snow, snow and more snow. It sucks. This is Oklahoma….we’re not supposed to have winters like this.

Ok, I’m done complaining. Maybe.

I did actually get out and about earlier today. It’s a good thing I got when I did because it’s not looking like I’ll be getting out again any time soon. It was actually kinda fun. There weren’t many people out so traffic was light. Jared went with me but Joseph wanted to stay home. It was a nice outing…except that Jared wanted to talk CONSTANTLY. We went to Walmart and he used his Christmas money to buy another wrestling belt. He must have about 20 now…LOL. This one is special though…it’s leather and it spins. I’ve been hearing about how wonderful it is all evening…LOL. I’m glad he had a good day.

Joseph has just come back in from taking a walk. I didn’t even know he’d gone out (some Mother I am). He walked up to the main road and back. That’s 2/3 of a mile in all…in the dark…in the snow. Strange child.

Well, time to get off my butt and get something done around here. I hope everyone else who is enduring this winter storm is making it ok. I hate to think about those who are without power or company. Makes me thankful for my rowdy boys and heat and electricity and water.

Ciao!

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January 29, 2010 Posted by | Family, Life | , , | 1 Comment

What a surprise!

I just checked the stats on my blog and for some reason, I had 9 hits on it yesterday. That really took me by surprise. One post got 6 hits. I find it hard to believe that 9 people checked out my blog yesterday. What I think it more likely is that someone was having computer problems and kept getting kicked off and had to keep coming back to finish reading. I don’t know how those stats work or if that scenario is even possible…but it sounds more logical to me than 9 people coming to check this out in one day…LOL. Oh well, it’s cool. I like surprises like that.

Today was a rather uneventful day. I don’t mind. You can’t excitement every day (not that it’s a worry for me) or it will lose it’s thrill. There is the promise of excitement in the near future though…and not the good kind. We’re expecting a big winter storm tomorrow. I’m not sure if any of you are familiar with the Oklahoma ice storm a couple years back, but take it from me, it wasn’t a pleasant thing. I was without electricity for 9 days. I couldn’t even get out to the main road for 4 days. I was stuck down in here, in the middle of a forest with no way out. I remember when it was all going down, walking out on the front porch, pitch black all around, and hearing the constant cracking and crashing of trees, near and far. Nothing but that sound, standing there hoping that the next one wasn’t going to be on my house. I did actually have a couple of them fall on the house, one blocking the way down the front steps and one that fell on the electric line, causing it to pull away from the side of the house and fall on the ground.

It’s not a pleasant memory.

They are expecting more of that around here tomorrow. It was just Timothy and me here the last time. This time he’s gone and it will be me and the kids.

::::the above was written yesterday and due to computer problems did not get posted. Below is today:::::

Well, bad weather has set in. It’s not pleasant. I don’t really know just how bad it is (I haven’t been outside in a while) but when I left work today at 2:00, I had ice on my windshield. The roads hadn’t got icy yet, but they probably are by now. I”m glad I’m in my nice warm house. I really hope the electricity holds out. It’ll get really boring, really fast if that happens….LOL.

No school tomorrow. I’m off tomorrow. That means I get to sleep in! I love it. I’m not going to make plans to do anything tomorrow and just take it as it comes. I’ll do whatever I feel like doing.

Well, I guess I’m not as talkative this evening as I was last night. I’m tired and thinking about getting a movie and taking the computer to the bedroom and watching something other than Jared playing a wrestling game. I may just head to bed early. Who knows?

Ciao!

January 28, 2010 Posted by | Life | , , | Leave a comment

What a relief!

This morning I found some upsetting news when I went to my writing group’s meetup site. Four members quit! First, I should tell you that we only have 12 members. Then you should probably know that we had most of our meetings at the residence of 2 of those members.

I was in shock. I had no idea what happened. I found out though. Remember my post about rejection? Didn’t think so…LOL. Anyway, I talked about critiques and how they can be a bit hurtful. Well, that’s what happened.

Let me go back a little bit. The current writing group I am with got it’s start because of hurt feelings about critiques. The 2 ladies (mother and daughter) who started this group were upset about the critiques they received and decided to strike out on their own. Myself and another lady followed them as we were all close friends.

This time, the same thing. They got their feelings hurt by the critique of one of the other members (who, I might add, seems knowledgeable about writing). Only this time, the offending member felt the animosity and withdrew fromt he group. Two others followed. It looks like this group is doomed.

Thankfully, I am still in contact with the members that quit and there are plans to still get together and maybe create a forum for writing. I can stop panicking now…LOL.

In other news….

I’m off today (like you hadn’t noticed..lol). I have plans to do all sorts of wonderful cleaning and organizing things today. I “plan” to do them. We shall see how my plans go. They may have a better chance of being realized if I got off the computer…LOL. I’m getting there. I just had to get this off my chest. I won’t be spending my day sitting in front of the computer. Or the TV. Yeah, I know I don’t watch TV, but since Rob gave me the Doctor Who DVD’s I’ve been stuck in front of a screen, addicted. They’re all done now though. I watched the last 2 episodes last night. Maybe now I can concentrate on something constructive. Like housework.

I have felt better the last few days than I have in a long time. I think it’s because I’ve been making smoothies for breakfast lately. Whatever it is, I love feeling like doing something. I hate being lethargic and apathetic. So, since I’m feeling really good, I’m going to take advantage of it and get something done around here today. I’m all excited!

Turn on the music and let’s get this party started!

January 25, 2010 Posted by | Friends, Life, Writing | , , , , , | Leave a comment

It’s a good day

Today has been a good day. It’s not over yet though. Hmm, that sounds a little negative but I didn’t mean it that way. I just meant that I still have a few hours left to accomplish something. I haven’t really accomplished much…but it’s still been a good day. The weather was nice. I took a long nap. I did some laundry and dishes. I feel good. Maybe it’s the extra sleep. I wish I knew…I’d write it down and do it all the time. I still haven’t been able to figure out why sometimes I feel good and others I don’t.

I didn’t get any writing done today…I wanted to…but I just didn’t sit down and do it. It’s ok. I’m not going to beat myself up about it. I have done a little bit in the last few days. I decided to write a scene about my villian. I’ve finished sketching the outline of it. Just the outline is good. I hope I can do it justice when I actually write it out. It needs to be a powerful scene. I hope I can convey the horror and sadness of it all. We shall see.

I’ve been thinking about creating a blog for my writing group. I would love for us all to contribute, but I’m not sure everyone wants to. I will probably put it on the back burner for now and save it for another time. I just really think that it could be an awesome thing if everyone contributed something. We have such wonderful people in our group. It seems that we are all going through stressful times right now…some more than others. The blog can wait.

I’ve been thinking about doing a personal blog as well. Something anonymous. Something I can use for recording all my day to day BS. Yeah, if I really wanted it to be anonymous I’d just do a journal on my computer and not on the internet. I really like WordPress blogs though and it’s not that I don’t want anyone to read it…I just don’t want anyone to know it’s me…LOL. It would just be another one of thousands of other blogs that people write. I don’t care about strangers reading it…it’s the people I know that I’m not too keen on having them read it and know it’s me. I don’t think I’m in any danger of that though. I’ve posted the link to this blog on my Facebook and writing group sites and no one ever seems to visit…LOL.

Well, I guess I better get off here and take advantage of what’s left of the evening. My kitchen could definitely use a little (ok, a lot) more work. I still have laundry to fold and put away too. I’m not sure if I’m going to have to go get Joseph from his friends or if he’s going to spend the night. To tell the truth, I wouldn’t mind if he spent the night. It would save me another trip this evening.

Ciao!

January 22, 2010 Posted by | Family, Life, Writing | , , | Leave a comment

No, I haven’t forgotten

I know, it’s been a week since I posted anything in here. It’s not like there’s anyone reading this though. Oh yeah, I get the occasional hit here and there, but it’s generally an unknown blog. It doesn’t matter. I write this for me anyway.

As you may have noticed, there’s a Doctor Who emblem up there. That’s because my friend Rob made me some DVD’s and I’ve been watching Doctor Who for over a week now and I’m addicted. Yeah, that’s probably part of the reason I haven’t done anything with my blog.

Nothing much has changed around here in the last week. I’m still in limbo, waiting…for something. I’m not really sure what…I just hope I know when I see it. Maybe it’s the bottom. Sometimes I feel like I’m sinking, slowly getting deeper and deeper into the mire of everyday life…so maybe I’ll eventually touch bottom so I can push back up to the surface. I hope my breath holds out.

I know, I sound so depressing. Sorry. It’s just a feeling, that’s all. I’m a woman, so feelings are apt to change quite a bit, especially at my age. Menopause is knocking politely on my door. I refuse to answer it though, like every other woman that has ever existed, so it’s only a matter of time before the polite knocking turns to a battering ram and menopause breaks down my door and takes control like an evil spirit.

I’m really not depressed. Well, not too depressed anyway. Ok, I’m less depressed than usual. How’s that? I actually have a lot to be thankful for. But when has that stopped anyone from being depressed?LOL. I really need to focus on the positive though. I used to. Life seems to have whipped it out of me though. Nowadays, I have a tendency to think the worst and I don’t like it. I’m working on changing that though.

I haven’t done any more work on my story lately. It’s been quite a while now. No, I’m not giving up on it. I’m just having a dry spell. I’m having a problem with confidence. I didn’t before, but I guess maybe I was just ignorant…LOL. I guess it’s one of those things like “the more I know, the more I realize how much I don’t know”. I’m trying to come to terms with it.

Well, I guess that’s all you’re going to get this evening. I’m tired and just about ready to head to bed. It feels good to have made a post this evening though. I’ve put my writing rants on hold indefinitely until I feel like writing them again….if I do. Who knows, I may try doing something else.

Night all

January 18, 2010 Posted by | Life, Writing | 2 Comments

Another day

It finally got above freezing today. Here it is, 37 degrees, and I’m excited. Tomorrow is supposed to get up to 44 and be sunny. I love it. I’m off tomorrow.

I haven’t really given much thought to what I’m going to write about for my “Weekly Writing Rant” tomorrow. I’m finding it difficult to come up with new topics. Well, I have ideas for topics, just don’t think I’m very qualified to talk about them. Most of the stuff I’ve discussed so far is stuff that I’ve had to deal with in some way. Since I’m a rather inexperienced writer, I haven’t dealt with a whole lot.

I haven’t been writing much at all lately. I’ve mostly just been writing in my journal or doing the Facebook thing. I’ve had a lot going on in my personal life. Still do. It’s slowly but surely getting taken care of though. I think I can make out a little pinpoint of light at that end of the dark, depressing tunnel I’ve been traveling through. The end is near. Knowing that takes a little of the load off. I wonder if old people feel that way when their end is near? I guess it just depends on the person and their beliefs.

Even though I haven’t actually been writing, I’ve been thinking about writing. Yeah, I know, it’s not the same…LOL…but thinking is a valid part of the process. Today, while having a conversation with Teresa, my coworker, I had an idea for a story blossom in my head. It started with one of the cake orders I was working on. It was a white cake with lemon filling….and chocolate icing. Gross. Anyway, I told Teresa that they must be aliens because no human could like such a combination. That was the bud of the idea. Throughout the day I toyed with it until I had the basics for a story plot. No, I”m not going to tell you…LOL. It’s my idea.

Well, as much as I’d like to stay and chat, I really do have to go cut some wood. It seems like that’s an every day occurance. And while I really don’t mind cutting wood, I don’t like doing it in the cold…or the dark…so I better get outside and brave the former before the latter descends.

January 10, 2010 Posted by | Life, Work, Writing | , , , | Leave a comment

I love the Tick

Have you ever seen the live action show “The Tick”? Patrick Warburten plays the title role and does an awesome job of it.

Why am I mentioning it?

Because whoever wrote the dialogue for Tick was a genius. It has some of the most hilarious, descriptive writing I’ve ever seen. I would love to be able to write like that. I’ll give you some examples:

Tick: It’s your turn now, Thorace-bog.
Thrakkorzog: It’s Thrakkorzog. Thrakkorzog. With a K.
Tick: We’re only serving humble pie, Whatchamazog.
Thrakkorzog: For the last time, it’s…
Tick: Thorax-and-a-bog. Four-yacks-and-a-dog.
Thrakkorzog: No.
Tick: Ah, laxative-log.
Thrakkorzog: No, no, no.
Tick: Sapsucker-frog.
Thrakkorzog: Thrakkorzog.
Tick: Susan?
Thrakkorzog: Now you’re doing it on purpose. How juvenile

and:

The Tick: Death. The eternal blink. The capricious dance of Now You Stop Moving Forever. Well, contrary to popular belief, death isn’t just for dead people. It can happen to anyone. I know, it’s news to me too. And it’s not just people either, it’s all kinds of stuff. Horses, fiddler crabs. Did you know that even a potato… can die?

and one of my personal favorites:

Tick: Everybody was a baby once, Arthur. Oh, sure, maybe not today, or even yesterday. But once. Babies, chum: tiny, dimpled, fleshy mirrors of our us-ness, that we parents hurl into the future, like leathery footballs of hope. And you’ve got to get a good spiral on that baby, or evil will make an interception.

Is that  not awesome?

Maybe I’ll try my hand at over-dramatizing like that. I have no idea if I could pull something like that off….but you never know till you try.

January 7, 2010 Posted by | Life, Writing | , , | Leave a comment

Today is better…so far.

Yeah, from that title it sounds like I’m still having a struggle to remain positive. Not so, though. I’m very positive today. It’s been good…so far. One never knows what the future holds though. I’m not trying to be negative, but I hate to say “Today is going to be a great day all day!”. It reminds me of something someone else said…”The Titanic is unsinkable!” I have this feeling that the Universe is listening to those people and thinking “Oh yeah? You think so?” and goes and puts a WHAMMY on them.

So pardon me if I refuse to proclaim that today will be an awesome day, the best day ever. It will be what it will be and I will deal with whatever comes my way the best I can.

That said, today has started out pretty good. I went to the bank and deposited some money (was overdrawn) and then paid my water bill (two months worth, I’m terrible about forgetting it). Soon, I’ll take Joseph to school (Tech hasn’t started back yet after the holiday break) and come home to a peaceful and quiet house. I haven’t been alone in my house for quite a while. I’ve missed it. Even if Joseph is here and sleeping, it’s not the same. Maybe I’m just super sensitive to other people’s energy, I don’t know, but I can never feel totally relaxed and comfortable unless I’m alone. I wonder what Freud would have to say about that?

I’m planning on getting some writing done today. I don’t know what I’m going to work on, but I’m going to write. I had an idea about using fairytale storylines and re-working them into a modern day story. I mind-mapped the three little pigs last night. I may try and work on that today. I just want it to be a short story. Or, I may try and mind-map some other fairytales and see what I can come up with for them. Or, I may just sit down and work on finishing up typing my outline into the computer. Who knows?

I’m not going to get anywhere with anything if I don’t finish this and do something else though. So, on that note, I shall bid you adeiu.

January 5, 2010 Posted by | Life, Writing | , , , , | Leave a comment

Blah

I’m having one of those days….weeks….moments….episodes…whatever you want to call it.

I really don’t even know how to explain it. It’s just a feeling…a vague feeling of unease, anxiety, maybe a hint of paranoia. Like I said, it’s hard to put a finger on it. It’s a complicated recipe that you keep tasting, trying to figure out the ingredients, even though it tastes terrible.

I don’t know why I’m feeling this way. Is it because of actual things that are happening in my life, or is my perception skewed, causing me to see those things in a different way? I have to admit, it’s probably my perception…not that things have been going all that rosey in my life. I’ve noticed how much my perception changes lately…due to hormones, lack of sleep, physical discomfort, someone pissing me off. Knowing that my perception may be a little wacky doesn’t help matters though. I seem to be a creature of feelings, moods…as inconvenient as it may be.

Could this be menopause?

I ask myself that question more and more. I’ll admit, I’m probably just pre-menopausal. I’m only on the brink of 43. Still, I feel like I’m changing into something else…and it’s no butterfly. The movie “Alien” comes to mind.

I don’t really know why I’m writing all this in here. I like to keep this blog mostly on the topic of writing. Yeah, I write some of my day to day stuff in here but it’s hardly the place to talk about my mental instability. Oh well, it’s not like anyone is going to read it. I can always delete it later if I want.

Well, it’s getting late. I’m beat. Maybe my emotions will do a 180 and I’ll wake up feeling great. Stranger things have happened.

January 4, 2010 Posted by | Life | Leave a comment

Weekly Writing Rant: Finding Time To Write

These days it seems like everyone has such busy schedules. Between work, kids, social activities and keeping things up at home, it’s hard for a person to find time to write. I mean, come on, until you’re a multi-published author, selling books worldwide, you’re probably not going to be able to afford to quit your day job. There are other obstacles that get in the way of writing as well. Lack of peace and quiet, motivation and procrastination factor in when it comes to creating that perfect piece of work.

So, what to do?

Well, there are many aspects to writing. I’ve broken them down into: Reasearching, Brainstorming, Outlining and Writing. Each one of these aspects take a different approach. It’s a good thing. You can almost always find time to fit at least one of these into your busy schedule.

Researching: If you’re like me, you use the internet to do most of your research. With three people and one computer, it can be difficult to spend much time researching. I’m lucky that what I write doesn’t require research so much as imagination. Still, I must do it from time to time. I usually multi-task while I’m checking email and Facebook. If you have children, you could intice them to help you look up research topics and send you the links. Most children have library cards. Get them to help out by checking out books for you. Character development is a form of research. I have a character questionnaire in a previous post that is helpful.

Brainstorming: This one doesn’t take up too much time. But if you’re like me, you need some peace and quiet to do it. All this takes is thinking about your project. I can’t tell you how many lunch hours I spent alone, sitting sideways in a booth with my back against the wall, eyes shut, thinking about my story. Many times I’ve pondered plot ideas and asked myself questions. Stories are like logic puzzles. They require a lot of thought. You can think anywhere though. Sometimes I think while I’m driving to work. Sometimes it’s when I lay down at night. I even think about my story while I’m working…but don’t tell my boss. No matter where I am though, I have my notebook with me. After all, what’s the sense of thinking about your story if you don’t have a notebook to record your epiphanies?

Outlining: This step is a MUST for me. I know some people don’t write outlines, preferring to write where their fancy takes them. I can’t do that. I need a map to tell me where my story is going and how it will end (for more information, check out a previous post on writing an outline) If you’re like me and need to have an outline, this can be one of the easiest things to fit into a busy schedule, especially if you use the mind-mapping technique. All you need is a pen and paper. Whether you’re outlining your whole story or just a chapter, it can easily be done in stages. Most of my story outline was written while I was at work, during breaks or lunch hours. I’ve even written while waiting on my son at basketball practice. Sometimes it’s only a few lines, but it’s a few lines more than I had before.

Writing: This can be the most challenging step. I know for me, I have to be able to fully immerse myself in my story and shut away the outside world. It can be difficult at times. And even when all the conditions are right, the motivation might not be there. For this stage, I have to shut myself away and tell the kids not to bother me (and not kill each other) while my door is shut. I usually put a time limit on it. It’s usually a half hour, sometimes an hour. I can generally count on my kids maintaining some semblance of peace and quiet for a 30 minute session. An hour is usually pushing it. I have to give them a time limit. Just saying “a while” or “some time” doesn’t work for my youngest son. He needs to know how long so he can tell when the time is up. I don’t use one, but a kitchen timer might work for you. You can set it and forget it. You won’t have to think about how long you’ve got, the timer will do it for you.

When it comes to time, the above ideas can be great helpers. But when you find that time, what if the motivation isn’t there? What if you’re muse has abandoned you?

Our sub-concious is our best tool. It’s where our creativity comes from. Sometimes when I write, I feel like the words and ideas are whispered to me by my sub-concious and I merely write them down. I think of the sub-conious as a big pot. All of what we see, hear, feel, taste, smell, think…all of it goes in that pot. It gets mixed up and combined in ways that make us who we are…and gives us our inspiration, our thoughts. I believe if you pose your sub-concious questions, ask it for advice, it will mix up a concoction to perfectly fit your needs. So, when you feel like your muse has abandoned you, talk to it. Tell it the problems you’re having with your story. Ask it for it’s help. Then wait. Work on something else. Be patient. Have faith. Your subconcious will come to your rescue.

These are all ideas that may or may not help you when it comes to finding time to work on your story. If you’re a procrastinator though, chances are “time” is not the real factor to you not writing. I’m not talking about the occasional putting off of some task. I’m talking about deliberately avoiding something. The real psychological disorder of “Procrastinating“. While researching this article, I found out that I, myself, have this disorder. Not when it comes to writing, but pertaining to another aspect of my personal life. It was an eye-opener for me. I truly believe that the first step to fixing a problem is knowing what the problem is. If you procrastinate with your writing, search inside yourself to find the underlying reasons why you do it and bring them into the light. I think most people’s reason why they procrastinate when it comes to writing is fear. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of rejection. Even fear of success. I hope that this will help someone discover their fear and overcome it.
This article has been a difficult one for me to write. Because of my own busy schedule, the holiday season and the subject matter, it’s taken me two weeks to finish this. It has been one of the most personally enlightening articles I’ve ever written though. Once again, I have to say, even if no one else ever reads these articles or gets any helpful ideas from them at all, they are still worth it because they have helped me. I have learned so much from researching these articles. This blog has been one of the most enriching things I’ve added to my life this last year. I can’t wait to see what this next year will bring.

January 3, 2010 Posted by | Weekly Rant | , , , , , , | Leave a comment